But the old Manchurian is still seeing RED!!
Yes, friends, only in America could an empty-headed bimbo help prop up the flaccid campaign of an aging derelict with "classified" mental health problems by winning a debate...by losing a debate. If that sounds twisted, well, it is, but by gosh and shucky-darns (wink, wink!) she's perky! And where else could a Maverick be free to mavercate, anyway?
She may not know that the deregulation championed by Sen. McNasty and the rest of the Party of the Rich is precisely what has allowed those "greedy Wall Street types" to bend us all over, or that the "never again!" meme is a cheap, blatant appeal for "the Jewish vote" (whatever that might mean); nor does she really understand any of the issues at all, but--and here's the good news, friends--who needs boring old history and a fully-functioning brain when you've got a handful of easily memorized talking points, a cheesy wink, and the earnest delivery of a high school cheerleader?
Sarah Palin, Boob of God, is on a mission, you see, and playing the stupid bimbo to McNasty's deranged Generallissimo fits that mission perfectly. Sure, it might appear demeaning to have to behave in such an empty-headed manner--campaigning in Michigan all by herself, pretending to be even dumber than the hillbilly vote that she was hired to fetch--but all this apparent subservience is actually the work of sheer genius, something that Rove's agents haven't even begun to suspect: the January Surprise.
Before we take a peek at what Sarah's got in store for us, though, I think we should all take a moment to acknowledge the scale of the sacrifice that she has made in order to serve a higher purpose. Most of us could probably only guess at how it must feel to pretend to be a moron in public when you're really a high-ranking member of the Mensa club; can you even begin to imagine what it must have been like for our plucky Sarah to have to pass the Republican committee's highest test?
She may not know that the deregulation championed by Sen. McNasty and the rest of the Party of the Rich is precisely what has allowed those "greedy Wall Street types" to bend us all over, or that the "never again!" meme is a cheap, blatant appeal for "the Jewish vote" (whatever that might mean); nor does she really understand any of the issues at all, but--and here's the good news, friends--who needs boring old history and a fully-functioning brain when you've got a handful of easily memorized talking points, a cheesy wink, and the earnest delivery of a high school cheerleader?
Sarah Palin, Boob of God, is on a mission, you see, and playing the stupid bimbo to McNasty's deranged Generallissimo fits that mission perfectly. Sure, it might appear demeaning to have to behave in such an empty-headed manner--campaigning in Michigan all by herself, pretending to be even dumber than the hillbilly vote that she was hired to fetch--but all this apparent subservience is actually the work of sheer genius, something that Rove's agents haven't even begun to suspect: the January Surprise.
Before we take a peek at what Sarah's got in store for us, though, I think we should all take a moment to acknowledge the scale of the sacrifice that she has made in order to serve a higher purpose. Most of us could probably only guess at how it must feel to pretend to be a moron in public when you're really a high-ranking member of the Mensa club; can you even begin to imagine what it must have been like for our plucky Sarah to have to pass the Republican committee's highest test?
The mere idea of smiling stupidly, even patriotically, around that horrid, scabrous little sausage when the crusty old man's viagra finally started to work enough to bring it to partial attention ought to be enough to make the rest of you begin to understand what Sarah has done for all of us. No amount of mouthwash can rinse away the little scales and horned skin of that mental image, now can it? It's a good thing that Sarah Palin is working for a higher purpose here--what sort of decent, Godly statue could be made to commemorate that sacrifice?
Sarah knows that it's all worth it, however. All the private debasement & debauchery, all the public dumb-as-a-doorbell appearances...when the Great Day finally comes, God's Own Bimbo will tear off the mask, spit out the wretched, shrivelled weenie and emerge as...
...something completely different! As in, "And now for..."
That's right, America! Bring out your dead, 'cuz the Silly Party has (or will have, come November 4th, provided no one reads this, of course, so hush!) subverted the Duopoly! At long last the phony "representative democracy" will be wiped away from the great unwashed ass that is the real America and, along with it, the entire malignant tumor that is the military-industrial-surveillance-pharmaceutical-Entertainment Tonight complex.
(Insert villainous cackle here.)
Oh, the irony, the pathos, the penultimate Silliness! Who will be most shocked by this great Turn of Events, the plutocrats who assumed that Rove's henchmen could manage our feisty Sister Sarah, or the perfidious Democrats, with their elaborate (well, superbly mediocre) pretense of opposition?
Hah! And ha-ha-Haaa!
When President McNasty keels over, his wretched, wasted body's last drops of life draining from the ghastly stump, Vice-President Palin's first official act will be to invoke a little-known clause in our great constitution (the invisible ink is time-delayed) that will allow her to appoint a new president, allowing her to remain as Vice-President-for-life so that the purpose of Dick Cheney's programming will finally become clear: the Oval Office shall expand into an Ovalur Orifice, the Ouroboros of State, Hegemon of the Executive, the Legislative, the Judicial and Cheeses...
The new President in Waiting will be none other than the other Palin, Valiant Sarah's "estranged" cousin Michael, sleeping cell-mate of the Imminent Python (what else would an ouroboros be?)
We'll let Michael's people explain the plan:
Sarah knows that it's all worth it, however. All the private debasement & debauchery, all the public dumb-as-a-doorbell appearances...when the Great Day finally comes, God's Own Bimbo will tear off the mask, spit out the wretched, shrivelled weenie and emerge as...
...something completely different! As in, "And now for..."
That's right, America! Bring out your dead, 'cuz the Silly Party has (or will have, come November 4th, provided no one reads this, of course, so hush!) subverted the Duopoly! At long last the phony "representative democracy" will be wiped away from the great unwashed ass that is the real America and, along with it, the entire malignant tumor that is the military-industrial-surveillance-pharmaceutical-Entertainment Tonight complex.
(Insert villainous cackle here.)
Oh, the irony, the pathos, the penultimate Silliness! Who will be most shocked by this great Turn of Events, the plutocrats who assumed that Rove's henchmen could manage our feisty Sister Sarah, or the perfidious Democrats, with their elaborate (well, superbly mediocre) pretense of opposition?
Hah! And ha-ha-Haaa!
When President McNasty keels over, his wretched, wasted body's last drops of life draining from the ghastly stump, Vice-President Palin's first official act will be to invoke a little-known clause in our great constitution (the invisible ink is time-delayed) that will allow her to appoint a new president, allowing her to remain as Vice-President-for-life so that the purpose of Dick Cheney's programming will finally become clear: the Oval Office shall expand into an Ovalur Orifice, the Ouroboros of State, Hegemon of the Executive, the Legislative, the Judicial and Cheeses...
The new President in Waiting will be none other than the other Palin, Valiant Sarah's "estranged" cousin Michael, sleeping cell-mate of the Imminent Python (what else would an ouroboros be?)
We'll let Michael's people explain the plan:
Is your hovercraft full of eels yet? It will be...(but don't tell anyone just yet, or the whole surprise will be ruined and, as you know, every sperm is sacred...even poor old Snarling's.) In the meantime, and until the Great Day, take a look at what the Silly Party has in store for you:
(wink, wink)
.
